WANT TO FIND SEXUALLY OPEN FRIENDS – JOIN US
LET’S DISCUSS PORN
The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly, Let’s discuss the benefits, the shame, the loneliness, the orgasms, the obsession, the disgust!
Should You Be Ashamed That You Like Porn?
Absolutely NOT!
Let’s first ask is porn really that bad .. well much like anything too much of a good thing can turn bad. Here is why
There is absolutely nothing wrong with people, watching, listening or reading erotic stories or hard core porn. If you don’t approve and don’t want to be exposed to it that is your choice of course but if you do like it there is nothing wrong with that either!
Approach and Engagement in Porn
Happy Mediums is what is called for. For instance if your guy (or girl) is constantly glued to the computer screen watching other women while you are laying in bed lonely wishing you could be having hot steamy sex then that’s an issue! Or if one is really into it and one is not this is a much harder issue.
It’s all well and good getting your jollied off when your partner is not around but if you are being secretive about it or so obsessed you are ignoring your partners needs then this is probably siding on porn addiction rather than a healthy porn attraction.
Many will start watching porn when their relationships get boring and they need that bit extra to get off, lots of others will watch porn together to get them all steamy for a passionate session, others will just sit in a lonely dark space and obsess. If you are single, well then get the hell onto a dating site and get some real action! If you are in a partnership then slow down and think a minute then take time to communicate with your partner.
Many watch porn alone for fear of shame, because they feel their partners will judge them, but you would be surprised how many women are into porn and find it very sexy to do the “show me yours and I will show you mine”. It is a great way to start talking about and introducing fantasies and role play. I mean you are with your partner because you once found them attractive (or still do) so why shut them out and do it all on your own when you could have an amazing experience together.
Don’t be that lonely, frustrated horny one after dark when everyone is asleep .. go rustle up your partner, get the sexy noises from the porn going and get steamy.
Fantasy Versus Reality
Porn can get very dangerous but mentally and physically if you think what you see on that xxx movie is real! You would be amazed how many people watch porn then try those things they see in regular sexual situations with no discussion or agreement up front! The most amazing sex comes from a CONSENSUAL arrangement. So before you get the whip out and try some 50 shades of fucking up your woman because you think it’s sexy STOP AND THINK, some women are very into ass spanking, tying up and other sources of kink, however some may have experience past abuse of rape or violence and this kind of thing sprung on them without warning can be huge triggers and may ruin your relationship immediately.
There is a happy line between forcing it on someone and over talking it until it’s weird and boring. If you want to step outside your normal comfort zone maybe bring it up in a “safe space” for example, drinking coffee at breakfast you can say “babe I was wondering what you would feel about us visiting a toy store together and picking out some things that would interest you” You will get one of a couple of reactions (after maybe some surprise if you are not usually like that) which are … total disgust (this needs then to have some other sit down conversation about why it disgusts them) or some kinda happy “hell fuck yeah let’s go” type reaction. In my experience I have not found much between the two people are either open to more or they are not. They may say they are to please you, but this is where it is important to know your partner well and know they are doing it for the both of you and not making themselves resent you later for things they did not want to do!!
WOULD RATHER FIND REAL SEX PARTNERS THAN JUST WATCH PORN? – THEN JOIN US
Eliminating Taboo’s
Porn sadly has a terrible stigma attached to it. For centuries people want to make you feel “disgusting” because you dare say out loud “I love to fuck!” Thankfully modern day society is changing quickly year by year and it’s becoming far more socially acceptable to be any damn thing you want and any way you want!
Women are quickly discovering they don’t have to hide in the shadows for their Sunday morning fuck’s anymore they can go out there and be as sexually liberated as they want, throw their men against the wall and tie them up, and watch some live action porn with their guy involving other men or women or non-binary people.
Porn has definitely become very popular and not just for the hard core sessions but it can also be very romantic and sensual for couples. One study found of 1,036 people ages 18 to 35 discovered that 98 percent of men and 73 percent of women engaged with internet porn within the previous six months, with videos being the most common choice.
Porn is everywhere now so it’s making it far easier for couples to openly discuss and engage into their sex lives without all the shame and stigma attached. When it comes to sex people are way to inhibited which ruins so many relationships because instead of talking about fantasies, needs, wants, and desires with their partners, people prefer to go have an affair because they think it’s easier not to embarrass themselves but let’s face it if you spent the effort into your partner that you did cheating and hooking up with that one nighter or office affair couldn’t it be off the charts since you already know each others bodies and minds, why not work on that together! If you want other people involved then maybe discuss swinging, open marriage or poly type relationships. If you love your partner then work with them not against them blaming them for being the dull one maybe they are thinking the same about you but since you are both not discussing it …..
Be Open, Liberated and Shame Free .. but Be Considerate Too
Porno can have many benefits like normalizing desire and self exploration,
OK so we suggested above that you try include your partner, but there is nothing wrong with doing A LITTLE by yourself too. For example, you could get the vibrator out, watch some lesbian porn if that’s your thing and send a home made video of it to your husband at work and tell him how wet you are getting thinking of him and you and another lady together! Nothing like giving him a boner at an inappropriate time to give you an extra kick to making yourself feel that much more sexier.
People need to remember, everyone on the planet wants to feel desired, so if your partner is ignoring you sexually ask yourself have you given up making them feel sexy! Insecurity can be a total wash out for sex drives on both ends of the scale so maybe porn is a way to step it up. But be careful, dont over lust, for example going on about how lovely her DDD cups are when your partner has small boobs or how enormous his hot black cock is and how you have always wanted a black man, because these things can destroy the relationship quickly too!
It’s all about balance, find something that turns you BOTH on and role with it.
Keeping it Real
Porn is an amazing way to discover new things about yourself and each other and getting over the insecurities of not being accepted for who you are. Maybe he is into toe sucking but too ashamed to tell you and maybe you have never tried it and would orgasm in a second if he was sucking your toes while sliding his hand up your inner thigh! If you don’t try (and discuss these things) you will never know.
What’s the worst that can happen, they can stick their nose up and tell you they find it weird or disgusting? .. Then calmly have that conversation that maybe THEY are being “closed minded” and ask what THEIR fantasies or desires are. People who say they have zero fantasies, kinks, naughty thoughts etc., are probably being very deceitful to themselves not only you and remember it is probably because they have been bought up in a very strict way that has made them feel shame so don’t shame them more just try get to the bottom of why they feel like they do.
For most couples its a far safer way to explore with each other than hooking up with some random date and hoping they are going to get into their bondage gear on the first date! Normally this will only happen if you are paying for it!
So is Porn Good, Bad or Ugly?
Well now that all depends on what you think doesn’t it. I mean what happens behind closed doors is no body’s business at the end of the day!
If you enjoy porn then it’s good, if your partner enjoys porn too and you also use it together then that’s fabulous.
If you use it but ignore your partner then that is just damn ugly!
Just keep the fantasies away from the reality unless you are truly ready to take more steps in the real world. By that I mean if you want to explore extra dynamics like hotwife, swinging, open-relationships or poly, BDSM or more.
Remember those porn stars are paid a fortune for their particular skill sets, not all women can handle having a 12 inch cock gagged down her throat and not all men can handle those double penetrations because of intimidation or fear of being associated as a gay man so there are many things to discuss and work through as a couple, it only becomes ugly if you ignore each other or shame each other or force them to do things they are really not comfortable with!
Signs You Have A Porn Problem or Addiction
If you believe porn is wrong for you, there’s no reason in the world to expose yourself to it. That’s also a valid choice. But if it is your go to for sexual gratification all the time with no or little human sexual interaction then you probably need to evaluate.
Porn isn’t for everyone. If you already have a poor body image or worry about sexual performance, you may consider examining your motivations to use it more carefully. Remember every single person in the planet is a different size and shape and their truly is someone for everyone. SO you can’t get those porn star looking women, keep it real, go after someone in the same “league” as you and get a true sexual relationship going. If you are in one and it’s dormant then revive it!
Here are some signs that you may be struggling with your porn use:
- You’re spending more time on it than you wish.
- It’s affecting your work or relationships.
- You feel that you don’t have control over your porn use and are distressed by it.
- Your sexual expectations have become unrealistic.
- You find it difficult to experience pleasurable solo or partnered sex.
- You feel shameful or guilty about watching or otherwise engaging with porn.
- You are ignoring your partner sexually
- It really has become your only release for sexual gratification
- Your porn keeps getting darker and darker and verging on “abuse porn” – while this can be a kink it can also be a problem if you are really not versed into the BDSM CONSENSUAL worlds.
If you have a primary care doctor who specializes in sexual health, they may be a good place to start. You can also ask for a referral to a qualified therapist or certified sex therapist who can help you explore the impact of porn in your life.
Our Thoughts
Just be open, honest and caring. It is ok to be a total sex freak but do it in consensual and respectful manners. Don’t use it to bring down your partner making them not feel worthy, include them, entice them, seduce them! Make them desire you more for the sex king or queen that you really are inside.
Give us your feedback, have you had issues with your partner ignoring you for porn? Has porn revived your sex life? Has porn led you into more sexy scenarios like swinging or wanting to try some bondage and dominance? Share with us …